Dermatology considerations as the sun expands into a red giant
When the sun enters the final phases of its life, at first it will cool a little and then contract. This contraction will cause it to heat up and bloat into a red giant. Eventually, the sun may grow so large it will overtake earth completely. Before this happens, Earth’s climate will have already experienced extreme changes largely due to the sun’s scalding rays. For all humans on earth this will necessitate a re-evaluation of skin care habits. Manufacturers of sunscreen and other skin care products will probably take advantage of this by raising prices, and they should see profits soar until Earth is obliterated. Prepare yourself by stocking up on the following products right now. You will save money while saving your skin.
As the heat rises, you will be tempted to spend more time in a cool underground bunker or your parents’ basement. However, you must get out for supplies on occasion. Beer and potato chips will not last forever, no matter how disciplined you are with your rations.
Before you go outside, you will need to slather SPF100 sunscreen on all exposed areas of skin. Please note that if you are used to using only SPF 30 sunscreen, it will not help you at all when the sun has entered its big red giant phase. You must switch to the highest SPF you can find.
Moisturizer with Aloe Vera
Despite using sunscreen, all exposed skin will have turned either lobster-red or leathery-brown by the time you get home from your beer and potato chip run. In order to ease the pain and prevent peeling and premature aging, apply a moisturizer containing Aloe Vera. Aloe has been used since ancient times to soothe skin, and it will be worth more than gold in the age of the red giant.
Daily application of moisturizer is best, whether you venture outside or not. The heat of the sun will have a drying effect on our planet, and since water restrictions will be in full effect, you will not have enough water to run a humidifier. Any water that is left will be reserved for drinking. Moisturizer will be the only way to protect you from the desiccating air. This also means that anyone who has ever cheerfully declared, “But it’s a dry heat,” probably will not be allowed in anyone’s bunker and will be left outside in their beloved dry heat.
Clothing and Accessories
After a while, sunscreen will not be sufficient to keep you safe from the heat and fiery rays. If you must venture out at that point, only a space suit can protect your skin. It is true that few people have these tucked away at home right now, but if you want your skin to stay young and supple, these suits will be the only way. Buy one now before word gets out to the rest of the population.
Cosmetics will still be important after the sun expands – at least for a while. Choose those that have both sunscreen and penetrating moisturizers.
In the End
The sun’s death is a long way off, so there is no need to worry about it right now. However, just in case we are all wrong, stock up on burn relief spray.
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Peter Wendt is a freelance journalist and blogger based in hot and sunny Austin, Texas. Due to his constant struggle with Austin sunburns, Peter is convinced the sun is heating up and turning into a red giant. In an effort to save both his skin and yours, Peter is passing along recommendations from his favorite pre-apocalyptic dermatologist.