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How To Be Mentally Healthy and Confident In Your Relationship

When you’re in a relationship, you can consider yourself as being on Cloud 9 – after all, having someone to call your “partner in crime” can be quite a relieving feeling. Life’s burdens and challenges can feel a bit easier to bear having someone there to help you out. Unfortunately, relationships aren’t perfect – and alongside you and your partner are various quirks, dreams, aspirations, pet peeves, and frustrations you may have to deal with. Sometimes, dealing with too much of these can make it feel as though your relationship isn’t as great as you think. However, before you completely give up, it’s important to remember that no relationship problem is unsolvable. In this article are tips on how to be mentally healthy and confident in your relationship.

Relationship: By The Numbers

Perhaps understanding how mental health in relationships work means having to understand how statistics play out in relationships in the first place. Interestingly, a 2014 Pew Research Center study found out 21-percent of those who owned mobile phones felt closer in their relationships because of texts, with most people thinking online dating is a good way of meeting people. Other statistics even show three (3) months is a good benchmark to think about being in a serious relationship, with as early as six (6) months being an indicator of considering marriage. Before you take any of these steps, however, it might be important to consider your outlook in your relationship much more seriously. Here’s how to be mentally healthy and confident in your relationship:

  • Start developing a more realistic view of the relationship you have: At some point, you’ll realize that your relationship may have gone a bit “stale” or “bland” compared to your first few months or years into the relationship. Gone are the days of always having that delightful feeling in your stomach, or being excited to see your partner all the time. This doesn’t mean the relationship has died, but rather, you may have gotten past the “Honeymoon stage,” and your mind and heart is slowly preparing for a more serious, more committed relationship. However, make sure this is something you and your partner clarify. Sometimes, even with the lack of everyday sunshine and rainbows, deeper, richer, and more lasting relationships develop because of realistic expectations from your relationship. Just what exactly is your vision of the future? Click here to find out how you can do this better.
  • Find better ways of cultivating your relationship with your partner: You can’t expect problems to solve themselves, and this works the same way with relationships. If you don’t tend to your garden of love, even the healthiest plants will wilt. As such, it’s important to always work on your relationship the same way you take care of your plants – providing it with just the right amount of care and still giving it freedom to grow. Likewise, given the expectations you and your partner have discussed, how do you approach misunderstandings and problems? Understanding how you want these to be approached, and how you look at these problems, can greatly help you have better insights towards developing your relationship for the better.
  • Find strengths in your differences: One of the “deal breakers” in a relationship is realizing that your differences cannot be reconciled – but sometimes this is what makes relationships so powerful.Finding compromise and working your way to use your differences as strengths can greatly enhance your relationship. Sometimes, it’s important to remember that it’s exactly the thing that attracted you to your partner that’s also driving you insane today. Try to turn that “difference” into a strength that makes your partner much more attractive, or something you appreciate them more for. Stop trying to change your partner into becoming a person you like, but rather talk with them and explain to them how making particular changes can turn their life for the better. If it doesn’t work, then it’s best left alone.
  • Spend more and less time together: This advice might seem a bit counterintuitive, but there’s just as much value in spending more time with your partner as there is in spending less time with them. The trick here is to find balance between cultivating both your individuality and your partnership to make the best of both worlds meet. Try your best to make sure there’s room for quality time between you and your partner – no kids, no pets, no interruptions. This can be in the form of an intimate time together in bed, in a park, or even a vacation. At the same time, it’s healthy to have separate hobbies and interests that not only develops you as a person, but is something you can share with your partner.
  • Communication and honesty are essential components: Lack of communication can be considered as one of the most important reasons as to why a lot of relationships fail – and one other culprit is lack of listening skills. When “communication” is the topic, it’s important to remember that you should listen just as much as you speak. This means it’s important to give your partner just as much time as they need to be able to share their thoughts to you and for you to be able to make a response. Empathize as much as possible, and be as honest with your feelings as possible as well. This helps create a more stable and much stronger relationship in the long run, as trust has slowly developed thanks to honesty.

The Takeaway: Relationships Take Time, Effort

Perhaps it’s important to remember that while having a relationship can seem to be the best experience in the world, you and your partner are bringing with you your own personal dispositions, beliefs, and frustrations – which can sometimes cause friction in your partnership. Knowing how to be mentally healthy and confident in your relationship can help solve a lot of these woes. This is especially considering how developing and nurturing your relationship should be a constant element of your growth as partners.

About the Author Philippa Page

Philippa is a warm and friendly therapist from Life Resolutions who prides herself on making clients feel welcome and comfortable in the therapeutic space. She believes it is important to take the time to really understand each client and treats the client as the expert in the room as they know themselves best. She uses a collaborative approach with clients to enable them to take an active role in therapy.

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