A divorce is a horrible experience for anyone, because it turns a loving marriage into a hostile game of chess where money, assets, and the family home are all contested for. Any divorce is a sad moment for the couple, but when there are children involved, there’s a genuine and concerning possibility of lasting emotional trauma.
A divorce is undoubtedly one of the most stressful situations a married couple can go through. The backlash from it can have a severe impact on your social life, career and the future dynamic of your family. The end of any marriage is complicated enough, but when children are involved, extra care should always be taken to protect them.
In this post, we’ll take a look at a few of the aspects of a divorce that prove to be most difficult for children and what you can do to make the experience less traumatic.
NEVER Expose Your Children to Hostility
This is the most vital piece of advice when it comes to children and divorce. There’s a thin line between love and hate, and this is more apparent than ever during a breakup, but that doesn’t mean your child should be exposed to it. This is an extremely tough time for any child, and exposing them to hostility will put them in a situation where they feel as though they need to choose sides.
The problem is that hostility comes in many forms, so simple actions such as name-calling, using your child to convey spiteful messages, or attempting to turn them against your partner will all have an effect. You may not realize it now, but these actions can have a lasting impact that could change the way your children perceive you as parents, as well as how they act in their own relationships later in life.
Arguing over legal matters such as finances and assets should never be carried out in front of your child. The best way to do so is allow your divorce solicitors to correspond professionally and efficiently, rather than exposing your children to heated debates over who is entitled to what.
Present a United Front
As we already mentioned above, a divorce is an extremely stressful time that can bring out the worst in people. Even if you have little love left for your former partner and are finding it difficult to reconcile your differences, you still need to show your children that both parents are prepared to work together to make the experience as painless as possible.
Working together will not only help the situation massively in regards to dividing assets and other crucial aspects such as new living arrangements. It also teaches your children a lot about conflict resolution and sets an excellent example.
Seek the Advice of Your Family Lawyer
The first step of any divorce should be to seek the assistance of a family lawyer — ideally a top divorce lawyer you can find to suit your budget. Most would assume that a divorce solicitor is only useful for getting your share of the assets and avoiding an expensive divorce. Granted, they are usually beneficial for this, but they also have an abundance of experience dealing with a wide range of family situations and can offer some very sound advice during this time.
A divorce solicitor will be able to take care of the essential legal aspects that causes so much stress, therefore relieving a lot of pressure and anxiety that fuels hostility between parents. Doing so will create a much more positive environment and give you a much better chance of avoiding a nasty divorce.
Your Child Needs Quality Time with Both Parents
An unavoidable and unfortunate result of a divorce is that one parent moves out of the family home. This naturally restricts the amount of time that one parent spends with their child, especially if the reason for the divorce has led to hostility, which can often see the children being used as a pawn during the divorce proceedings.
None of the above is healthy and each parent should spend an equal amount of time with the children. Doing so will give them the peace of mind knowing that although your marriage is over, they still have a mum and dad that are there for them.